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Summer 2013

by Mallard

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1.
Let me drift, just at least through the next few weeks, without any clarity, existing free of consciousness to be sure of why I'm doubtful and try to move on. I'll abandon my options and give myself to moments of a scene that I created while off wandering inside myself. I wish I could believe it but I know that it's not real. The sounds of the voices that haunt my sleep are changing a part of me and their only interest is need for an author but I don't know if I want that. If I could reshape myself and lack what I fear the most would I be more honest, regain motivation, and just learn to let things go? I'm done with holding onto the ones that I barely know and I recognize my progress but I just need to feel at home. Please tell my why I can't be strong anymore. It would be nice to live without the need to be conscious of every word I speak aloud but most times I'd rather just not speak at all.
2.
Here from my window I'll listen for a signal or some reminder of who I have to live for. The face of someone I don't know shaking hands in the mirror. My list of fears is short 'cause I could never write it of course. Here from my window I'll look for a signal from someone I don't know.
3.
4.
Black Duck 03:26
"I can't keep believing if all I'm left with is more time. Enough to close my eyes and see yours glowing next to me. I won't keep breathing if all I'm left with is more time. Enough to learn your name and face and follow you somewhere that makes me happy. I can't keep believing if all I'm left with is more time. I'm in a room with you, invisible until you feel me brush past your tail. I know we'll meet someday. I'll try to fight it off but you'll change me and leave me as dead as a corpse with wings dead as leaves." - black duck

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recorded/mixed/mastered by Travis Arterburn

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released May 23, 2013

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Mallard Earth, Texas

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